Self

Update

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It’s been awhile since I have updated everyone on my life.  Honestly, it still feels out of control.  It’s like I almost don’t have my footing.

As I wrote before, I have just gotten over a severe case of pneumonia over two months ago.  It was horrible.  I still don’t feel as if I have recovered from it.  In the past two months I have gotten a lot of stomach bugs and one regular cold.  Ah Winter, the season that keeps on giving. I just haven’t felt right since. I was pretty rundown before the pneumonia.  However,  this feels different.  I think since I am still under a lot of stress my body just can’t take it.

I have had to miss so many appointments and cancel out on people in the last few months. I really hate doing that.  Appointments are so hard to come by. I tried to avoid  same day cancellations.  I try to at least get the provider their tip so they don’t lose out on money.  Fortunately, I only had one or two that I had to do that way.

I am trying very hard to get back to feeling better.  More water, eating better and trying to get out of the house.  I have also spent more time doing self care.  Going to bed early, getting a massage and other things. I still have a long way to go.

My son is still at the same point as he was at the last update.  He can only manage about 15 minutes in one normal class.  I have no idea what to do next. His therapist and I are challenging him to do one extra minute a day. So far he hasn’t done it. If he can do one extra minute a day, he will be up to an hour at the end of the year.

In addition to his mental health therapy I have started to take him to an eating disorder clinic.  It was the same one he went through last year. So I returned with him on an outpatient basis.  He goes to a dietician at night and family therapy in the afternoon. So far I’ve gotten him to eat a banana but not much else new.  Apple no, Tater Tots no, and other things?? At least he is crazy about Ramen.  He eats about 4 bowls a day.  The only problem is he eats noodles.  What I need help with is fruits and veggies of which he eats none.  I’m not 100% certain of the diagnosis of ARFID, as an eating disorder.  The also want me to start seeing and OT again.  They are going to try and get referrals for me for my son.  Another provider to visit?  I don’t know.  He saw an OT for over a year a few years ago. It didn’t do any good.  Would a different OT do anything?

He’s seeing a tutor twice a week on the weekends.  He isn’t in math class long enough to understand the teaching.  However, everything he turns in is late because we have to wait for the tutor. I have purchased a Life Science and History textbook to help him understand what he missed in the school year this summer.

I see my son getting left behind. I don’t know what to do.  He gets upset and goes through crying spells and anger at this anxiety. I don’t know what else to do.

I have gotten to go somewhere for fun twice in the last six months.  I went to a flower show which was cute.  Then I also saw a decorator home open for charity.  I think I need to get out more!

 

Self

5 Self Care Goals for April

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It’s been a crazy  year so far for me.  Illness and family issues have had me busy for a very long time. I have had a hard time taking care of everyone else much less myself.  I need to start taking better care of myself.  Of course, I’ve been trying to take better care of myself all the time.  I need to make some major changes but how will that happen?  Stay tuned.  Meanwhile, here are five things I am going to try this month.

  1. Take a walk.  Between family obligations, illness and weather I didn’t do any type of workout.  My dog is feeling this pain more acutely than I am. I need to get back to this.
  2. Stretch.  It’s a quiet and simple way to get moving and make yourself feel better.
  3. Read something silly or fun.  While gossip isn’t considered nice, we all need a little celebrity gossip from time to time. It’s fun to see and imagine how the other half lives.
  4. Light a candle.  I always did this when I came home from work.   It was a great way to signal it was time to relax.
  5. Make a bucket list.  Don’t put on things you think you should have on your list. Say read the 100 greatest books of all time unless you really want to.  Put your items in order.  Then write what you need to do to do the first three.

I hope this little post reminds you to take a few minutes each day to refresh and renew.  Be a little kinder and little more gentle with yourself.  Until next month.

Self

How Do You Find Your Purpose?

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I admit this question has always stumped me.   What is purpose anyway? According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary  purpose is to have something set up to be a goal or objective or an end to be obtained.  To me, when I have heard this topic discussed on television or radio is almost seems like a calling.  Something deep within the soul to be unmasked.

I have contemplated this idea a lot for the last several years. In my teens and twenties I had a mission, a very fixed idea of who I was, what I wanted and who I wanted to be.  I kept my head down and worked very hard.  I almost worked myself to death as only a young twenty something can do.  Then, life happened, and it was definitely not part of my plan. Recession and illness reared their ugly little heads.  I really got run down and was on the bottom of the barrel.  I decided that I just needed to rest and then get going again.  Little did I know it was not that easy.

I had issues, just like everyone else, getting back on my feet.  What I did do was get married, kept working and finally got pregnant and had a child.  Often while having many health problems.  In fact, today, I still have numerous health issues and so does my child.

So here I am at my mid-forties and I am looking at “retirement.” What to do? You read all these articles in the news about people in their “twilight” who reinvented themselves. Someone is sailing around the world, feeding the building schools in a typhoon ravaged nation, starting their own winery and more.  What If I don’t know what I want to do? I looked into getting more education, but it cost too much. Moving? Have to consult my husband.  So much I don’t know what I want or what path to even take.  The best advice I’ve had so far is to try everything if it interests you in the slightest.  I am still trying to figure this out.  Do you know what your purpose is?  Let me know about it.

Self

New Year, New You?

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A New Year usually means giving ourselves new goals for the year.  In 2019, I am trying to give myself a bit of a break.  I’m still doing resolutions, but more kinder and gentler ones. I want to continue to work on making my health better.  It’s an ongoing struggle.  I have been eating a lot better.  I tried two meal delivery services.  We tried Hello Fresh and Factor 75.  I love Hello Fresh.  My family gets the classic menu for two people, two meals a week. I have loved the vast majority of their meals.  They have been really tasty and fresh.  I look forward to having them.  Definitely better than the same old, same old meals. I’m really tired of spaghetti, if you know what I mean.

Factor 75 is another food subscription service. This one I got just for myself.  I wanted to eat healthier lunches and one have individual portions.  Factor 75, the company, got the best reviews online for a more veggie based menu.  They cook the food in advance and you reheat it.  I honestly didn’t care for the taste of it.  So I cancelled it.

I really need to lose weight.  Since I have gone on medication for my chronic migraines and pain I have gone up four dress sizes. I’m thrilled to be able to live again without pain, but I hate looking at myself.  I hate going to the doctor and getting a lecture on my weight.  What?  I’m obese?  How could I have missed it? (I so wish there was a sarcasm font)  I want to start exercising again.  I’m pretty weak, especially after my month long bout of pneumonia. So it will be slow and steady. The subzero freeze isn’t helping either. It got down to -53 wind chill.

I would like to improve my marriage.  We have been spending all of our time on the remodel from hell and our son’s troubles that we have not been working on us for awhile.

The fourth thing I want to pay attention to is painting again.  It has been so long since I have done it.  I really want to get back into it.

The next thing on my mind is to do more reading.  I used to love it. I’ve got a huge stack of books to finish. Plus, I have a wish list of other book titles I want to look at.  So many pages so little time.

Last, I need to finish my to do list that I’ve had for over a year.  It’s over 30 things that do not need attention right away.  The do need to get done.  Since there is no rush they often get put on the back burner.  Do you have one of those “to do” lists? Things on mine include get curtains for the guest room, work on family history, finish beading a bracelet, clean out the laundry room etc. I’m all over the board.

What are some of your resolutions this year?

 

 

Self

My Favorite Books

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Reading is something I love to do.  It is something that I haven’t done in the last year.  I know my son’s current problems have lead to me not read anymore.  I’m just too mentally spent.  I only lately seem to have time for podcasts.  I have a huge pile of books that need to be read! One of my new goals for 2019 is to get my pile of books read.

I love to read all types of books.  The following are my top five favorite books:

  1. Skeletons on the Zahara by Dean King. This is an epic true story of survival when 12 merchant sailors where shipwrecked on the coast of Africa in 1812. Kidnapped and sold into slavery only a few would survive thanks to the generosity of a single stranger.
  2. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. Memoirs was a  New York Times best seller, and this book also appears on PBS’s Great American Read.  Geisha tells the story of Nitta who at a young age was sold to a Geisha house.  It follows her through her trials and tribulations to become a Geisha herself.
  3. The Land of White Death by Valerian Albanov. Another true story of survival. See a pattern here?  I love to figure out what motivates people and why they do what they do. This is a journal of crewman Valerian Albanov and how he became the only survivor of the expedition ship Saint Anna.
  4. The Gryphon and Sabine Trilogy by Nick Bantock. I love this whole series. It’s the combination of a great story with artwork. It’s a quick read that is really enjoyable.
  5. The Tatooed Map: A Novel by Barbara Hodgson. If you like the last recommendation you will love this novel by Barbara Hodgson.  It’s a very short read, but the combination of art and story are wonderful.  This is a great book for a creative in your life.

What are your favorite books? Are there any you are giving  for Christmas?  Let me know in the replies below.

Self

5 Self Care Ideas for December

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Holiday Season is such a busy time.  Kids have school projects coming due.  There are band concerts and chorus shows to attend.  Have you got all your baking done yet?  Then the meal planning and the visiting schedule have yet to be worked out.  Oh, and how are those resolutions coming along?  It never ends does it?  It’s easy to get overworked and stressed out on a daily basis.  I know it happens a lot to me.  I can easily forget unless I write the reminders down.

Here are five quick and easy ways to take care of yourself this month.

1. Turn off all the phones and electronic devices for an evening.  Play a board game as a family or go see the lights.  Plan something besides the norm.  We all need a change of pace once in awhile.

2.Don’t put up all your decorations.  Go through them and donate what you really don’t want or need. We were pushed into this by accident.  We adopted two cats this summer so this is their first Christmas.  We didn’t want the ornaments to be ruined so we only put on lights and ribbon.  The ribbon has already been pulled off by the cats.  Thankfully they have not tried to climb the tree yet.

3. Just say no.  You don’t need to go to your cousins house for the day after Christmas extended family celebration.  You don’t have to go to your families Christmas and then drive like a bat out of hell to your spouses family 4 hours later.  Take a holiday off.

4.Give less gifts.  Your sanity and wallet will thank you.  Does your sister really need more potholders?  I know they have kitties on them and that just screams her but let someone else get them. In my family we have this rule that once a person hits 18 they no longer get gifts.  If you are over 18 the next time you get a gift is for graduation, marriage, new home, or birth of a child.  No more holidays.

5. Have a different meal than normal.  A huge Christmas meal with all the trimmings?  I know you can make it potluck.  I just get tired of it all.  So how about a lasagna or pizza instead of ham or turkey?  It doesn’t have to be crazy!

I hope these self care ideas help.  I know they technically are not traditional self care ideas like getting a pedicure.  Sometimes you just have to cut down or not do anything as a form of self preservation.  Good luck.

 

Self

10 Quick Ideas for Self Care

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With the holidays around the corner, the stress is starting to mount. So I’m giving a quick list of ten self care coping skills you can use to help make it through the next month.  Here we go!

  1. Try a new makeup technique or color at home.
  2. Pet your pet.
  3. Put a puzzle together (over several days, a little at a time)
  4. Go for a walk around the block.
  5. Give yourself a quick facial.
  6. Color a quick picture.
  7. Phone a friend.
  8. Feed the ducks, squirrels and birds.
  9. Watch a black and white film.
  10. Make yourself hot chocolate or a milkshake.

Easy stuff huh?  Enjoy.