10 Classic Accessories For Your Wardrobe


Every wardrobe has a few foundation pieces. These pieces are timeless classics that don’t change from year to year.  What are those pieces?  I’m glad you asked!  Below, find a list of ten timeless accessory classics.

  1. Classic Black Heels.
  2. Leather Tote Bag.
  3. A Pair of Diamond Stud Earrings.
  4. Ballet Flats.
  5. Black Leather Watch.
  6. Thin Leather Belts.
  7. Silk Scarf or Pashmina Style Scarf.
  8. A Metal Link or Bangle Bracelet.
  9. Medium Sized Leather Handbag.
  10. Gold hoop or stud earrings.

July Journal Prompts


It’s July!  To me this is the halfway point in the summer.  June has gone by so quickly.  Will summer ever be long enough?

1.  What book are you reading right now?

2. What is your favorite flower?  If you could make your own flower what would it look like?

3. Name the last five self care items you did.

4. Describe one of your hobbies.  Then tell about a hobby you used to have and one you may like to try.

5. What is something you keep putting off?

6. Describe your favorite film.  Why is it your favorite?

7. Write an important quote.

8. Write down the meals you have for the week.

9. What do you fear?  Name 2 things.

10. What are 3 pet peeves you have?

11. Make a list of things in your house to be repaired.  Make a second list for renovations that need to be done.




5 Quick Self Care Ideas

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Self Care is the latest trend in the blog world. There are whole blogs devoted to the concept.  If you are like me you need some serious self-care but don’t always know what to do. Each month I will give you some different ideas for relaxing and recharging.  Sometimes we need some gentle reminders to take care of ourselves.

  1. Read a chapter out of that book on your nightstand. You know the one you have been meaning to read but haven’t gotten around to doing.
  2. Take a quick 10 minutes to declutter a spot in your home. Pick something you see everyday to clear like your coat closet or medicine cabinet.
  3. Turn the phone off. Easy right?  It’s harder than you think. We use our phones for everything today. Even an hour of no phone use can help you unwind.
  4. Talk a quick walk around the block.  You don’t have to break a sweat, just get away from it all for a short time.
  5. Take a bath.  I personally love a long, hot bath. You can pick a favorite bath bomb or bubble bath, light a candle, and put on some relaxing music to enjoy.

What do you like to do for self care?  Let me know!


5 Small Tips To Help The Environment


Environmentalism is a mainstream concept today. Sometimes it can be hard to figure out how to adapt it to your daily life. Here are some ideas to adopt in your everyday life.  What are some ideas you have for other readers to help the environment.

1. Houseplants. The original air purifiers.

2. Go Native.  Check local plant nursery’s in your area to see which carry native plants and trees.  Next time you want to plant a new flower or shrub choose one from your local area.  It will help the environment and local animal and insect populations.

3. Reuse.  Kind of a no brainier right?  Reduce, Reuses, Recycle is the motto we all hear.  Are you doing all you can do?  You may have stopped using plastic bags, and Styrofoam cups, but have you bought used clothing? Furniture?  Have you looked for organic, environmentally friendly sunscreen?  There may be new ways you can alter your current habits to make a difference.

4. Curtains.  Do you open your curtains during the day to let sun in to warm up your house?  Do you close them at night to keep in the heat? Have you stopped drafts coming in from doors and windows?  Seal those gaps and holes to help keep costs and use of electricity down.

5. Stop junk mail by unsubscribing from catalogs you no longer shop with.

Pretty easy right? Look for more tips once a month here at The Northern Star.  Have some great ideas of your own?  Leave them in the comments below.


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The meaning of flowers


Flowers.  It is that time of year again. The snow has melted finally, and everything is starting to bud.  Right now I am anxiously awaiting what ever tulips are still alive in my yard and to evaluate all my plantings for next year.

I wish I could say that I am a real green thumb, but I’m not.  I am not the type to spend hours in a garden as relaxation or exercise.  I wish I was. I do love flowers.  I love how they look, the color and the shape.  I even like the scent of a few of them.  My love of flowers lead me to the concept of the language of flowers.

We all know each birth sign has it’s own trademark flower, each month has one too, and we all know holidays such as Easter and Christmas are marked by distinct flora.  Did you know that each flower, even each color of flower has it’s own distinct meaning?

Flowers in place of sentiments or words hit the height of popularity during Victorian times.  A single flower could have several meanings depending on what part of the world or the situation that it was involved in. Even the ribbon the flowers were bound with, to the condition of the flowers and even the hand they were handed over in or received in determined the message. It will certainly make you think next Valentine’s Day or Mother’s Day.  There are still a vast amount of books from the height of the Victorian Era where you can find all this information and more in.

Here are some of the meanings of flowers.

Orange Blossom: Chastity, Purity and Loveliness.

Red Chrysanthemum: I love you.

Bluebells: Kindness

Peonies: Bashfulness

Tulips: Passion

Pink Carnations: Never Forget You

White Carnations: Sweet

Yellow Carnations: Romantic Rejection

Red Carnations: My heart aches.

Purple Violet: Thoughts of love

Red Rose: Love

Red Tulip: Confession of Love

Calla Lily: Magnificent Beauty

Clover: Think of me.

Apple Blossom: Preference

Crocus: Youth

Daffodil: Regard

Daisy: Innocence

Edelweiss: Courage/Devotion

Forget-me-not: True Love

Lilac: Youth

Lily of the Valley: Sweetness

Red Poppy: Consolation

Sunflower: Adoration

Gardenia: Secret Love, Sweetness

Orchid: Femininity, Refinement

Queen Anne’s Lace: Sanctuary

Cherry Blossom: gentleness, beauty

There are so many more meanings and flowers to choose from.  This was just a sample.  Hopefully it will give you something to think about next time you decide to give someone a bouquet of flowers.  Enjoy!


Suicide, My Son, Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade and me.


I’m exhausted.  Completely exhausted.  Physically, Mentally, and Emotionally exhausted.  I’m so worn out that I have trouble getting things done at the moment or going places.  I pick the most important thing, do it and let the rest go.  I only have so many spoons to give.  I can’t sleep, but I need to.

As many of you know, my son has had a great deal of problems this academic year.  His problems are not of the intellectual side.  He knocks that out of the park.  It is of the mental illness kind.  It runs in my family.  When I noticed his issues I quickly got him help.  I had hoped to block the huge problems I had when I was young and going through this. I was going to be there for my son.  I was a completely different parent that what I had.  Yet my son went through everything that I did.  He is still struggling.  I have done everything I know how to do and then some.  Still and my best intentions and actions are not enough.  It is a long slow climb, just like it was with me.

When I first heard about the death of Kate Spade I was sad. I studied Fashion Design.  I knew Kate’s story (professionally speaking) and loved her products.  I felt awful for her family and for her.  I understood her profound sadness.  Her soul had died a while ago I guess, and she made sure her body matched her soul.  Harsh?  Mean? Insensitive? I’m not trying to be. When you are depressed, suicidal you truly believe that your death is a good thing.  I’m not kidding.  People think suicidal persons are selfish. On the contrary, I have found the exact opposite.  People who go through this mental illness called depression or suicide think a lot.

They think that the world would be better off if they were not apart of it.  The wouldn’t be in pain anymore, and their friends and family would be happier.  You may be saying “How could anyone think that?” I would say to you, “How could you not think that?”  They (the depressed and sad) hear everyday:

“What do you have to be depressed about?”

“Lighten Up”

“It will pass.”

“You need to get out of the house.”

And so on and so forth.  Why wouldn’t you want to leave this life.  Everywhere you turn, you are told how you should not think or feel how you do.  Your damaged and you’re making everyone else miserable.  Solution?  Stop your pain and everyone else’s.  That’s what a depressed person thinks about.

Anthony Bourdain was a shock.  I had just watched his TV show the night before.  My husband and I must have discussed it for an hour afterwards.  When my husband tweeted me about Anthony Bourdain, I didn’t understand at first.  So I looked on my news feed and there it was “Anthony Bourdain is Dead.”  At first, I thought car accident.  Maybe heart attack.  Never suicide.  A day later, there it was, suicide.

Wow, just wow. If anything, he seemed to have a great life and all his shit together.  If a guy like Anthony Bourdain can’t handle it, how can the rest of us? I’m sure the same can be said of Kate Spade. This is why his death was so shocking.  He has everything (it seemed) that I wanted and it wasn’t enough.

Bourdain had the respect of everyone. He had talent, intelligence, money, looks, skills, recognition, family, friends, and more.  My heart aches for Bourdain’s and Spade’s kids.  Their whole circle.  I know that they were loved and they loved all those people back. Sometimes love isn’t enough.

I was envious of all the places and things Bourdain got to do.  He spoke to amazing people, and ate great food. I tried to keep all the coverage of their deaths away from my son.  I didn’t want to give him ideas of new ways to end his life. My son is 11. I am sure many are thinking what is his deal? The thing is, it doesn’t matter.  It didn’t matter what I thought when I went through suicidal ideation, it doesn’t matter what my son thinks, what these two celebrities thought.  Thoughts don’t matter.  Actions do.

Suicide is on the rise.  So they say.  Why?  I honestly think part of it is due to life today, a lot of it is do to more honest reporting. I think we are finally realizing what a fucked up world this can be for people.  So what to do?

We mourn.  We analyze.  We question. We discuss. We plan.  Then we act, and keep acting. We cry for the pain of those gone and we weep for the pain those currently on this path feel.  It’s awful.  It’s hurtful. They feel so empty and heavy. We need to judge what the causes are. Is it the situation?  Genetics?  Or a multitude of things.  Ask why it is happening, where it is happening, what is going on.  Discuss it with them.  Plan with them how you are going to interact.  Are you a sounding board?  A shoulder to cry on?  Or maybe their wingman?  Then do it.  Get up everyday and do it.

I am sad for my son.  I have racked my brain on how to figure out what is wrong.  It is rarely one thing.  I’ve questioned him.  A lot. We always talk.  You know what?  He tells me when he is feeling suicidal. We discuss it.  We talk about ways to fix this.  It is a long hard road.  Sometimes it’s painful for both of us. Still, I act.

At the end of the day, my actions account for something.  It helps.  It doesn’t always cure the problem, but it can lessen it.  There has been a lot of advice to reach out and talk.  Yes, do that, but know that that isn’t everything.  Don’t blame yourself.  Don’t blame the person suffering.  It just happens.  It’s a daily struggle that you have to adjust to.  Just know you can adjust.  The person suffering can adjust.  Life can go on.  It’s okay, that life isn’t this spectacular extravaganza it’s supposed to be.  It can just be getting up, doing what is required, and going to sleep.

You are going to feel pain.  It’s normal.  Sadness. Normal. Anger. It’s supposed to be there.  That is what I wish I could tell Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade.  You cannot have the bitter without the sweet.  You will never enjoy love, passion, joy, or excitement without it’s polar opposite.  One cannot exist without the other.  That is the hit that depression gives you.  It tells you all you can feel is pain.  There is nothing else.  Then media and the general population tell you all you can feel is joy. It is maddening.

I tell my son, the next day is a new day.  It will get better. “How mom?” he says.  “How is it going to get better?” Some days I have a great answer.  Some days I can only say, “We will make it better together.” And we will.  For I will always be there for him. Even in the deepest darkest hour. Not everyone has that.  Did Bourdain or Spade? I don’t know.  What I do know is you need someone.  Every one does.  Now is the time to think who is yours?  Now is the time to think if you can be someone else’s.  It won’t be easy. Life never is, but you can have the sweet again.  I wish I could have told Anthony and Kate that.  I can’t.  I am, however, telling you.  Remember that.

I would like to end with a quote from Joan Rivers.  It was for her Emmy acceptance speech.  Her husband died from suicide.

“My husband Edgar Rosenberg said “You can always turn things around.” except for one terrible moment in a hotel room in Philadelphia when he forgot that.”

You can turn things around.  Remember that.


*I hope you were able to get some food for thought form this post. Please note, that when I write posts that are emotional or difficult for me I do not proof them.  I just spill things out.  If you find mistakes, sorry.





10 Things to Clean


It is time for my monthly installment of 10 things to clean.  We all know to clean the floor once in a while or the windows, but what about other smaller items that go unnoticed?  Do you clean those? Here is a monthly list of those often forgotten items that need a once over with a rag, or bleach if need be.

1. Vents.  In the floors, the ceiling, the walls etc.  They get dusty.

2. Toilet bowl brush.  When was the last time you replaced it or the container it is housed in?

3. Shower caddy.

4. Base boards.

5. Air purifyers

6. Fans.  Wipe them down before you need them this summer.  Maybe use a little canned air?

7. Table lamps. Dust the shades and bases.

8. Winter shoes/boots.  Now is the time to get your winter footwear cleaned or repaired.  Give your winter dress shoes a good polish and check to see if the heels need replacing.

9. Winter coats, hats, gloves etc.  Time to wash what needs to be, make sure everything has a match and no stains before you put them away.

10. Bathmats.  Seriously, when was the last time you put them in the wash?