What is going on now. Things are still stressful. I’m still physically and mentally exhausted. Honestly, I am so angry over the last two months. I am really angry at the mental health clinic that has been treating my son in one form or another. Where to start?
If you remember from my last update, we were trying to get E tutoring from the school district. We were able to secure tutoring for E after school. A teacher would come after school for an hour each day. Fortunately, my son really liked his tutor. They covered several pages in his math book.
As I also said in the last update post E was on the waiting list for the PHP he last attended. While we were waiting I was able to get E twice weekly therapist appointments. We also started him on his third medication. We are seeing a slight improvement in him. I fear that his dose is too low. Unfortunately, with children you cannot increase as fast as in adults. It’s an extremely long road. I’m still exhausted and depressed myself.
After having the tutor over to our home for one week when I get a phone call. It is the PHP (partial hospitalization program). They have a spot for E. He can start the following week. Ugh. Of course, when I got the tutor up and going he would get into the PHP. I am hoping that he can get some coping skills this time. I am hoping he will talk about hurting himself less.
For the first couple of days back at PHP E is sad. His friend Johnny would not be there and he missed her. I can’t lose any more friends he would cry to me. E has lost a large number of friends in his short life. All of them have moved away. I count about 6 or 7 friends who moved. E is very, painfully shy. While he makes friends easily he also feels their loss deeply. My son is a nerd, polite, shy, self conscious, friendly and helpful. Many kids have said so. Even though in PHP there are different rules than outside. You can’t be in contact with people from the group. I’m sure it had to due with confidentiality and safety. How do you explain that to an 11 year old? I tried to tell him it was not about him or his friends. This was the rules for everyone. Even with that it caused him so much pain.
This time round he made another friend named S. S likes video games and anime like E does. She has also got him into drawing. I have tried for years to get my son to do artistic things. It’s not his thing. Until now. I’m glad he loves drawing like I do. I know he missed S. They are very much alike. I’m sad that he has to deal with another loss.
In about four days after he started back at PHP I get a phone call from his social worker. “We think E is doing great.” “He is not acting like he did before he went into lockdown. We think we may discharge him” she said. Huh? He hasn’t even been there a week. He has anxiety through the roof, crying fits and talks about hurting himself. To that they said “He isn’t doing that here.” All I could think is of course he isn’t. He doesn’t want to go back to lockdown. It’s one of his major fears. He is terrified of being taken away from us again.
Here’s the kicker. Our insurance doesn’t want him discharged! Never had an insurance company want a person to have more treatment. The staff at the PHP is thinking that he should go to a special academy or day treatment program. They told us to start investigating them. We have no idea how to start. We do know of one academy. However, it’s over $30,000 a year. Kiss retirement and college goodbye. I also don’t think that pulling him out of school for a year to attend school at a day treatment program or special academy is the answer. If anything it would cause him more harm. He could also lose many of his friends.
To be continued…