I am sure you are wondering if I gave up on my blog. No I haven’t but outside circumstances have put a temporary halt to things. Let’s see, as many of you know our home remodeling from hell has finally ended. The last day of construction was in December.
Also in December I had a breast cancer scare. I had a routine mammogram in early December. The results came back with some specious lumps. Since I get breast cancer from both sides of my family I pay attention to my health in this area. So I went in for an ultrasound right before Christmas. Once lump came back as a cyst, the other lump was undetermined. So I would next have to go in for a die contrast MRI. The day before Christmas Eve I went in. The results would not be back till after Christmas.
It made for a rough holiday season. Luckily, the second spot was another cyst and I was given the all clear. Whew!
The biggest source of stress has been my son “E”. Normally, he is the most kind, gentle, bright, shy and happy child. During this past summer this started to change a bit. We figured that he was going into junior high school (so getting older, teen angst) and with all the home construction stress, he was just moody. When school started, he was under a lot of stress. Normal right? In many ways he was also better. He seemed to be more responsible and his ADHD was better managed. His grades were high too. While a lot of his friends didn’t go to that school, there were a few that did. So he wasn’t completely alone.
As the year progressed we noticed him becoming more and more anxious. He started to get ill and began to miss school. He was getting difficult to wake up. He was starting to cry, shake, and have meltdowns. It was like someone flipped a switch on his personality. He has his first panic attack in the Fall. I knew right away what it was.
I took my son into his pediatrician to get him started immediately on medication. He also started seeing his therapist more often. I was able to get him some accommodations at school for his anxiety too. Unfortunately, he started to self harm. As the desire for self harm began to increase we removed him from school and enrolled him in a PHP. PHP stands for partial hospitalization program.
“E” would attend the PHP from about 9-4 Monday-Friday. Then he would come home on nights and weekends. At PHP he would receive therapy, medical treatment, and schooling to help him overcome his anxiety and depression. He attended for several weeks when we received a phone call from the staff psychologist saying “E” was very suicidal. The decision was made on advice of the staff to place my son in a 24 hour lock down facility for adolescents. It was the hardest decision I’ve had to make. I knew it needed to be done. However, now I look back and question it a bit more.
To be continued…